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Common Questions

Is it too little and too late for couples therapy?
Is it better for each of us to go to individual therapy to work out our problems before we try couples counseling?.
What should we expect in couples counseling?
Do you accept insurance? How does insurance work?
Is therapy confidential?


Is it too little and too late for couples therapy? 

.One or both partners may have felt that they have been trying for years to improve their relationship with little success. Every time they try, they find themselves falling into the same old pattern with the same outcome. It is little wonder that many couples find themselves mistrustful, pessimistic and hopeless about their relationship. This often leads to blaming each other and having regrets about remaining in it.

We understand these feelings. They are common and normal with couples who get stuck in destructive cycles. However, we also understand that at one time these same couples were attracted to each other and once had positive interactions. Ending a relationship is difficult with financial, emotional and even physical costs. Although one cannot guarantee that couples therapy will keep people together, we feel that it is best to end relationships with sadness that things did not work out rather than with blame and anger.

Is it better for each of us to go to individual therapy to work out our problems before we try couples therapy?. 

The prevalent view among both couples and therapists is that if one works on their individual issues, it will lead to a satisfactory relationship. The research to date does not support that personality issues lead to unsatisfactory relationships. When relationships are not going well, couples tend to attribute the problems to the personality issues of the other. Since individual therapists often get a one-sided view, they often come to the conclusion that their patients are in toxic relationships and need to leave. Things are never quite that simple.

In team sports, one can have many expert and skilled players. Often managers will often solicit individuals who show exceptional attributes. However, much to the disappointment of managers and fans, this alone does not lead to a winning team. It is whether the team is in sync and plays together as a unit.

What should we expect in couples counseling? 

Unlike individual therapists who do couples therapy, we avoid the usual triangle when one person feels left out or that the therapist is taking sides.  Having a couple do couples therapy helps promote an atmosphere in which each partner feels heard and understood. The difference between couples therapy and individual therapy is that each partner often feels more vulnerable and exposed when seen together. As therapists, our major task is to promote a sense of safety within the room. Working from our home helps to create a comfortable setting. The next major task will be to identify the patterns and cycles that all couples get into while under stress. Couples then learn to identify and repair the patterns that lead to disconnection.

^Do you accept insurance? How does insurance work? 

To determine if you have mental health coverage, the first thing you should do is check with your insurance carrier. Check your coverage carefully and find the answers to the following questions:

  • What are my mental health benefits?
  • What is the coverage amount per therapy session?
  • How many therapy sessions does my plan cover?
  • How much does my insurance pay for an out-of-network provider?
  • Is approval required from my primary care physician?

Is therapy confidential? 

In general, the law protects the confidentiality of all communications between a client and psychotherapist. No information is disclosed without prior written permission from the client.

However, there are some exceptions required by law to this rule. Exceptions include:

  • Suspected child abuse or dependent adult or elder abuse. The therapist is required to report this to the appropriate authorities immediately.
  • If a client is threatening serious bodily harm to another person. The therapist is required to notify the police.
  • If a client intends to harm himself or herself. The therapist will make every effort to work with the individual to ensure their safety. However, if an individual does not cooperate, additional measures may need to be taken.